Infernal Regio of Major Weir

This week, Major Weir’s Infernal regio in Edinburgh.

LibriVox is a community group which records books that are in the public domain into the audio format. I believe this recording is by Colleen McMahon and I thank her for putting it in the public domain. It demonstrates something interesting about folk tales – things which were terrifying to people from previous generations aren’t particularly scary now.

This bit of folklore, retold here by Joyce Muddock, uses skeletons a lot, and skeletons used to be terrifying. There were Vincent Price movies where the presence of a skeleton was the thing meant ot scare you. For one of them, a skeleton popped out of a trapdoor in center of the theater and then whizzed over your head on a wire. It was enough to give people a serious shock. Role-players being somewhat enured to such shocks, these creatures just become monsters that we can use in this case to populate what I would suggest is an infernal regio that is fueled by the occasional murder of a passing person.

The Story of Major Weir by Joyce Muddock

The craze for supplanting old things with new is responsible for much Vandalism ; while the modern besom of reform has swept away some of the most picturesque buildings in all our large cities. Even the eerie things that stalked the land during the hours of darkness, and only fled back to their abodes of gloom and mystery as the cocks crew and the glimmering dawn began to assert itself, have been’exorcised from their accustomed haunts by the joiner’s saw and the bricklayer’s trowel, and many a once familiar spirit that made our grandparents’ flesh creep is known no more.

Nothing, perhaps, that ever came from the unseen world was better known up to 1878 than the ghosts of the terrible Major Weir and his awful sister, Grizel. For over two hundred years they haunted, to the terror of the neighbourhood, the scenes so familiar to them while on earth, and there was hardly an inhabitant of the region around the historical West Bow in Edinburgh who had not at some time or other seen the ghosts of the wicked Major or his infamous sister. The dark and grim alley that led to the house so long the residence of the Major and Grizel when they were in the flesh was passed with a shudder. Boys and girls avoided it as they would a nest of serpents, and when darkness had fallen the man or woman was hardly to be found who would have ventured down that accursed passage. For strange apparitions, like black and silent shadows, flitted about ; and though the Major’s house had long been tenantless, for no one could be induced to live in such a place, unearthly noises echoed through its decaying chambers at night, and lights that came from no earthly gas or candles gleamed from the begrimed windows. And sometimes, when a belated traveller, nervously wending his way homeward, passed the haunted alley, he has been suddenly almost turned to stone with horror by observing a headless, coal-black horse, of gigantic proportions, with blood and fire streaming from its neck, issue forth, ridden by the grinning spectre of Major Weir, though, in a few moments, horse and rider would suddenly vanish in a whirlwind of blue flame. Anything more frightful than this apparition could not be imagined, and yet it was by no means uncommon. And sometimes the inhabitants of the Bow, when peacefully sleeping in their beds, were aroused by the thundering of a ponderous coach, drawn by six fiery steeds at full gallop. It came up the Lawn Market, shook the very foundations of the solid houses in the Bow, as it tore along to the head of the terrible close, as alleys are called in Scotland, where it paused for a few minutes, and then thundered back again, leaving behind it sheets of flame and an overpowering smell of sulphur. Strange as it may sound now, this equipage was driven by the Evil One himself, who came to take back the Major and his sister after they had spent a night’s leave of absence in their former earthly abode. All this is changed, however, for in 1878 the ‘ Improvement Commission ‘ of Edinburgh, with ruthless hand, improved the Major’s house and the dreadful close off the face of the earth for ever, and the disgusted ghosts walked no more.

But who was Major Weir ? some may ask. Well, he was a native of Kirktown, in Lanarkshire, and was born about the beginning of the sixteenth century. His mother was a sorceress of great repute, and it was only natural she should, at an early stage of his career, initiate her son into the mysteries of the black art. This did not prevent him, however, from becoming a soldier, for in 1641 we find he was a lieutenant in the Scottish army that was sent by the Covenanters to Ireland to protect the Ulster settlers. In this capacity he saw considerable service, being present at the storming of Carrickfergus and the sanguinary battle of Benburb. During this battle he was furiously at- tacked by a native armed with a formidable pike, with which he made a tremendous lunge at his foe, but at that mo- ment a great black hand came out of space, seized the pike, and hurled it away ; and so startled was the native by this remarkable apparition that he fell down in a fit and expired.

For his Irish services Weir received promotion, and became a major. Soon afterwards he was appointed to the command of the ‘ Guard of Edinburgh,’ and in that capacity he had charge of the military arrangements during the execution of the great Montrose. He was a striking-looking man, powerfully built, and had a massive, sullen, repellent sort of face. His eyes were small, but burned like jets of fire, while his hair was coal black. On being appointed to his command in Edinburgh he took up his lodgings in the house in the West Bow, and that house was destined to bear the most evil of reputations ever after. His sister Grizel, as remarkablelooking a woman as he was a man, came to reside with him, and this strange couple began then to hold direct intercourse with the Prince of Darkness, who presented the Major with an ebony staff that bestowed upon its possessor extraordinary powers of eloquence.

The night on which the Unholy One and Major Weir made their compact in the Major’s house the elements were dis- turbed in such a manner that the oldest inhabitant could remember nothing like it. An intense gloom enveloped the city, and from out the piled-up masses of clouds there suddenly leapt sheets of flame, followed by peals of thunder that shook the solid earth and caused many women and children to die of fright. Then ensued a deluge of rain that flooded the streets and drowned hundreds of cattle and sheep grazing in the fields. Many houses were struck by lightning, as well as people, and the destruction and distress caused by this most awful storm were tremendous.

During the time that the storm was at its height a strange little old man, enveloped in a large black cloak, appeared in the Major’s room. Where he came from or how he got in it is impossible to say. It is equally impossible to tell precisely what passed between this little old man who announced him- *self as ‘ The Prince of Darkness ‘ and the Major and his sister. But this much, at least, is known, that the Prince handed the Major an ebony staff, telling him that slave never obeyed his master so well as that staff would obey him. It would fetch and carry, confer upon him extraordinary elo- quence, and render him invulnerable to everything except a single bum. The Prince advised the Major to devote himself to ‘praying and expounding,’ as that would give him great influence with the people, and was the surest way to worldly advancement. Accordingly, we find it stated in ‘ Fraser’s MS.’ in the Advocates’ Library at Edinburgh, that ‘ he (Weir) became so notoriously regarded among the Presbyterian sect that if four met together be sure that Major Weir was one. At private meetings he prayed to admiration, which made many of that stamp court his converse. He never married, but lived in a private house with his sister, Grizel Weir. Many resorted to his house to join with him and to hear him pray ; but it was observed that he could not officiate in any holy duty without the black staff or rod in his hand and leaning upon it, which made those who heard him pray admire his power of prayer, his ready extemporary expression, his heavenly gesture, so that he was thought more an angel than a man, and was termed by some of the holy sisters ordinarily ” Angelical Thomas.”

‘ In spite, however, of this outward show of sanctity the Major was engaged in wizardry that was truly astonishing, while his inner life was darkened by crimes of the most repulsive kind. On one occasion, having conceived a dislike to two of his neighbours, a man and woman who had given him Rome offence, he invited them to supper. During the meal lie summoned his master the Devil, who appeared in his most horrifying aspect. When the guests saw this frightful apparition they both went raving mad, and Satan then touched them on the forehead and killed them. Whore he touched them was a large blue mark, and as soon as they were dead ho whisked them through the window and laid them side by side at the top of the close, where they were found next morning. Tho discovery caused great consternation in the Bow, and the strange blue mark on the forehead of each corpse convinced people that something uncanny had caused their death, though what that was was never known until the terrible Major himself confessed years afterwards.

At length, however, retribution was to overtake this very wicked man and his equally wicked sister. After a long course of iniquity, and when he was verging on seventy years of ago, tho Major fell seriously ill. This illness had such an effect upon his mind that he made open confession of his wickedness and of his compact with the Fiend. So astounding and seemingly incredible was the story be told that Sir Andrew Ramsay of Abbotshall, who was Lord-Provost of Edinburgh…refused at first to order his arrest. But to such a pitch of furiousness rose the outcry against the wizard and his sister that at last the Provost had them con- veyed to the Tolbooth, together with the magic ebony staff. One of the bailies was then sent to search the Major’s house, and amongst other things he found a quantity of money wrapped up in pieces of cloth. A scrap of this cloth was inadvertently cast on tho fire, when it caused a tremendous report that was heard all over the Bow. The money was taken by the magistrate to his own house, but no sooner had he arrived than the pieces flew out of the bag in which they were being carried, and banged themselves about, smashing windows and furniture to fragments, and it was only when the bailie and his appalled family offered up a prayer that the demoniacal money flew up tho chimney and was seen no more.

While lying in prison waiting to be tried, the Major seems to have become still more conscience-stricken, so that he made the most astounding revelations, and the sensation ‘these revelations caused throughout Edinburgh was immense. People could hardly believe that such things could be possible. Of course, the confession only served to seal his doom still more surely, and when, on April 9, 1670, he was brought before the Justiciary Court, the verdict was a foregone conclusion. He and his sister, however, were duly tried, and the Major was sentenced to be ‘ strangled and burned between Edinburgh and Leith,’ while Grizel was to be hanged in the Grassmarket. As soon as he was conveyed back to prison he was earnestly urged to pray to heaven for pardon. But, ac- cording to ‘ Law’s Memorials,’ he exclaimed, ‘ Torment me no more. I am tormented enough already.’ He strenuously declined to see a clergyman.

In due course he was brought out for execution, and as he was placed over the fire with the rope round his neck some pious people urged him to say, ‘ Lord, be merciful to me ‘ ; but he replied fiercely, ‘ Let me alone. I will not say anything of the kind. I have lived as a beast and must die like a beast.’

As soon as he had been strangled his body was cast into the fire along with his ebony staff. And the horror and amazement of the spectators may be imagined when they saw this remarkable staff twist and turn about and perform the most extraordinary contortions, and all the time uttering strange sounds. Nor did it disappear until the last vestige of the Major’s body had been consumed. Though even then the stick was not burnt, but it leapt high up above the flames and vanished from the sight of the appalled spectators.

As soon as the Major had been disposed of his sister was prepared for execution, but when told of her brother’s death she fell to raving in the most horrible manner ; and she vowed that not only was she a sorceress but that her mother before her had been a witch. She also declared that she and her brother had been in direct communication with the Devil, who on one occasion had taken them for a drive in a fiery chariot drawn by headless horses and in broad daylight. As soon as she was brought to the place of execution she began rending her clothes, saying that she wanted to die ‘ with all the shame she could.’ Like her brother, she refused to pray, and scoffed at those who tried to induce her to repent.

Let it not be supposed, however, that although the woman had been strangled, and the man strangled and burnt, that these people had been got rid of. Oh, dear no ! for the very night following their execution the Major’s house was observed to be brilliantly lighted up. From every window light gleamed, and such light, too ! —utterly unlike anything the citizens were accustomed to. But this was not all, for from the house issued roars of laughter, eldritch screams, and wild shouts of revel. All night long the inhabitants of the Bow heard the thunder of invisible chariot wheels either going to or coming from the Major’s house, and now and again great sheets of blue flame shot out of the grim close that gave access to the Major’s door. These revels were kept up till daylight began to dawn, and then the frightened neighbours saw that the lights in the house faded out, and the shouts of the revellers were hushed.

A few nights later a woman was proceeding through the Bow carrying a lantern. She was going to visit a sick neighbour, and had a little basket on her arm filled with delicacies. As she reached the top of the dreaded close her basket and lantern were whisked away from her, and then she was frozen with horror as she beheld standing in the mouth of the close the well-known form of Grizel Weir. She appeared, however, to be of enormous stature, and was grinning horribly. This dreadful sight caused the poor woman to fall down in a fit, and she was found sometime later and conveyed to her home ; but when she recovered from the fit, she related all that she had seen, and soon after she lost her reason, owing to the shock she had received. For a week or two after this nothing was observed either in the close or the Major’s house, which was shunned by everyone. But, at last, one night the neighbours heard a sound as of some tremendous body rushing through the air. On looking out of their windows they beheld Sk gigantic black horse, bearing on its back Major Weir. The animal’s eyes were great balls of fire, and fire streamed from its nostrils. On reaching the close this mysterious steed stopped, and the Major alighted, and instantly the close was filled with strange beings, each one carrying a torch, while a wild shout greeted the Major’s arrival. Then once more was the house illuminated from top to bottom, and presently, to the horror of those who were witnesses of this remarkable occurrence, a window in the Major’s house was opened and a headless body was flung out, and alighted with a sickening thud on the pavement. Five minutes later, from another window, a head was flung after the body, and all night long these ghastly objects lay on the pavement, for no one who had witnessed the sickening sight dare leave his house. When the day dawned, however, people hurried down and in- formed the authorities of what they had seen. The head and the body were at once secured, but who the person was, no one of the many hundreds of people who saw the remains was able to recognise. The head had been cut off so evenly that there was not a jag to be seen.

No sooner had the citizens recovered from this horror before a fresh one was in store for them. Again one night unearthly sounds were heard. There was laughter such as no mortal ever uttered, and shrill screams that human throats were incapable of. And when the scared neighbours ventured to peer out they saw that every window of the Major’s house was wide open, and at each window was a grinning skeleton, the eyeless sockets being filled with balls of blue flame. The whole thing was hideous and appalling, and no wonder that some of those that were eye-witnesses lost their reason. But probably the most appalling sight of all was that which was witnessed by Mistress Margaret Donaldson and her maid. This good lady was of exceeding piety, and had great renown for truthfulness ; while her maid was a most virtuous woman, and had been in Mistress Donaldson’s service for over twenty years.

The lady was a widow, very comely and much sought after by the beaux of the period. Her husband had been a barber and a very industrious man, and, having accumulated some money, he was enabled to leave his widow very comfortably off ; and as it was believed it was her money and not herself that was sought after, she turned a deaf ear to her many sighing suitors, and resolved to keep the memory of her departed green. Now, it happened that Mistress Donaldson had a very intimate friend in the person of Mistress Williamson, also a widow, who resided in the Bow, and not very far from the haunted house of Major Weir. One afternoon Mistress Williamson invited a few select friends, including Mistress Donaldson, to drink a dish of hot spiced ale, and discuss the current topics of the day. Mistress Donaldson, accompanied by her maid Jessie, proceeded to her friend’s house about four of the clock in the afternoon of a November day. The ladies enjoyed themselves for two or three hours with much gossip, and did not consume more than three dishes of ale each. About seven of the clock Mistress Donaldson prepared to depart. At that time a thick mist enveloped the city, and a small rain was descending. The lady put on her pattens and wrapped her cloak about her, and then, preceded by Jessie, who carried the lantern, started for her home. Her route passed that grim and mysterious close which led to the Major’s house. On reaching the head of the close the frightened maid suddenly whispered to her mistress :

‘ God guard us, for I declare this is Major Weir’s close ! ‘ She had scarcely spoken the words, when she uttered a piercing scream, and cried out, ‘ Oh, oh, somebody has got hold of me ! ‘

Her mistress rebuked her for what she termed her ‘ frivolity,’ and told her that the small dish of beer with the few drops of brandy that she had partaken of before starting, to keep the fog from affecting her throat, must have gone to her head, but in a few moments the good lady herself cried out

: ‘ Losh me, if there isna’ an arm round my ain waist ! ‘

Instantly the two women were whirled round and round in a mad gallop, and the maid’s lantern went flying up through the air. Then they were both whirled at a giddy pace down the awful close. The door of the Major’s house was flung open, and a great blaze of blinding light streamed forth. The unseen partners of the two women, who were now almost dead with fright, lifted them into the passage, and the door closed with a bang. Upstairs they were carried to the great room, which was illuminated as for a ball, and here, exhausted and frightened out of their wits, they sank down on to a stool. But now they were to behold the most appalling sight ever seen by human eyes. The door at the end of the room was suddenly opened with a clang, and Major Weir and his awful sister appeared, escorted by the Prince of Darkness, who bowed with great politeness to the maid and mistress.

Following this strange trio, trooped in fifty pairs of skeletons arm in arm. Anything more ghastly than this little army of grinning, chapless skeletons could not be conceived by the brain of man. The luckless women seemed to turn to stone with horror, and yet though they were deadly cold the perspiration streamed from them. At a given signal the skeletons, together with the Major and his sister, arranged themselves for a minuet. Then strange and unearthly music struck up from some unseen orchestra, and the skeletons having bowed to each other began to dance, the Major and his sister leading the way. The rattling of the bones of these fleshless dancers was horrible, and made the blood of the women curdle in their veins. Presently the minuet ceased, and the dancers formed themselves for a reel. Two skeletons, to the terror of the women, approached them, and seizing them round the waist lifted them into the centre of the room. Then the music struck up again, and the dance of death began. It was awful. Round and round the room flew the skeletons in one awful mad stampede, their bones rattling in time to the strange music, and their fleshless jaws clicking and snapping as if these tenants of the grave were roaring with laughter. The Major and his sister seemed to be everywhere. They whirled round and round like a maelstrom, and with amazing rapidity, while the Evil One sat on a high chair at the end of the room and appeared to enjoy the spectacle.

How long the infernal revels were kept up the unfortunate women could not say. All they knew was that quite suddenly the dancers stood stock still. The lights went out, the maid and her mistress were carried downstairs, through the doorway, along the close, and deposited on the pavement, where they became unconscious through the shock they had received, and where they were found in the dawn by the watch. They were at once conveyed home, and poor Mrs. Donaldson took to her bed, for that awful scene had been too much for her. A raging fever ensued, and in a week she was dead, but, before dying, she gave to the clergyman who attended her a circumstantial account of the ghastly ball at which she had been present, and this account was corroborated in every detail by the maid.

It is needless to say that after this Major Weir’s house was more shunned than ever, and for a hundred years it remained without an earthly tenant, though it was haunted all that time by the Major and his ghostly companions. At length the unfortunate owner, who had been unable to either let or sell his property, determined to try and obtain a tenant who might for a time sit rent free, in order to break the fearful spell that had so long hung over the accursed place. At length such a tenant was found in one William Patullo and his wife. Patullo had been a soldier, and was a very wild, reckless, and somewhat dissipated man. He was wont to declare that he did not care for either man or devil, and the prospect of getting a house rent free induced him to accept the owner’s offer. When it had become known that at last a tenant had been found for the haunted house of Major Weir, the excitement in the town was immense, and Patullo was looked upon with extraordinary interest. At length he and his spouse removed to their new quarters, but their very first night’s experience deterred them and everyone else from ever again making the experiment. The honest man and his wife had not been long in bed before a remarkable phosphorescent glow seemed to pervade the room, and a noise that had no counterpart in earthly noises fell on the affrighted ears of the new tenants. Then, with eyeballs almost starting from their heads with terror, they beheld a gigantic beast, having a resemblance in form to a calf, but without a head. This strange creature put its two fore-paws on the stock of the bed and reared upright in all its ghastly headlessness, great streams of blood spouting from its neck. The woman fainted, and the man was spellbound, but presently he was enabled to murmur a prayer for protection, and then the frightful and appalling vision vanished.

Next day, as soon as ever it was light, the rash pair quitted the place, and no attempt was ever afterwards made to inhabit it.

Scotch readers will know that this is not fiction, and English ones may be told that it is absolutely true that for a hundred and fifty years Major Weir’s house remained tenantless save by its evil spirits, though over and over again it was offered to people for nothing. But a curse had fallen on it, and nothing could remove that curse, until at last the Improvement Commission rooted the place up, crop and stone, thus purging it from its evil reputation, and banishing for ever the ghosts of the wicked Major Weir and his terrible sister.

The Coachman of Major Weir

This creature takes the form of a wizened man in elegant clothes. It claims to be Satan himself, but that’s simply a lie.

Order: Lord of the False Gods 
Infernal Might: 25 (Ignem)
Characteristics: Int +1, Per +1 , Pre +1, Com +5, Str +0, Sta +5, Dex +5, Qik +2
Size: -1: Usually takes the form of a debauched, dwarfish nobleman. Virtues and Flaws:. Many.
Confidence Score: 5 (5)
Personality Traits: Proud +6
Reputations: Lord of skeletal revels 3 (Infernal)
Combat:
Whip: Initiative +1, Attack +10, Defense +10, Damage +6*
* does not include fire damage from powers
Soak: +6, Clothed in rich velvet, but has a tough, leathery body. 
Wound Penalties:  –1 (1–4), –3 (5–8), –5 (9–12), Incapacitated (13–17), Dead (18+)
Abilities:  All suitable for story, but this demon has a broad range of social skills. Area Lore 9 (region). Carouse 9 (host), Etiquette 9 (victims), Single weapon (whip) 4.
Powers:
Coagulation, 0 points, Init 0, Corpus: The creature prefers to take the form of a little nobleman, but can also take the shape of one of its skeletal minions, to allow itself to escape in a crowd. The creature’s whip is an extension of its body. It appears and vanishes at will, and at no cost. 
Change Shape, 0 points, Init 0: The creature can change between its shapes.
Envisioning, 1 point, Init  0, Mentem: For 1 point, allows the demon to enter and twist dreams. If used to terrify, the victim can ignore it with a Brave Personality trait roll against an Ease factor of 9 or more. Failure to resist leads to a profound physical reaction, like a seizure.
Master of Revels:  1 point per skeleton, Init 0, Vim: The Coachman can summon far more demons than most other False Gods, but this power is limited to a single type: his skeletal dancers. Unlike most False Gods, the Coachman is able to command his summonees.
Obsession: 1-3 points, Init -5, Mentem: May force characters to make Personality Trait rolls to resist a temporary trait, Pride, which has a score equal to the Might points spent.. If the roll is successful, the trait vanishes. If it fails, they gain the trait permanently at +1, although they can remove it by the usual means of reducing traits.
The Serpent Oracle: 2 points, Init. +2, Mentem: May cast any Intelligo spell for 2 Might, and automatically knows the context and likely outcome of actions made in response to the information gained.
Sparks of sin:  3 point, Init +0, Ignem : Causes a object to catch fire until dawn. This does not damage the engulfed object, but does damage anything the object touches that is not similarly engulfed, save the demon himself. The power does +5 Damage on contact, and is used to make the demon’s whip and carriage wheels burn.
The Wealth of Nations: 1-3 points, Init 0, Terram: Allows the creature to summon wealth, equal to one pound of gold (10 Mythic pounds) per Might point spent, from anywhere in the world, at the creature’s discretion. The wealth summoned must never gain its value from its usefulness, only from the human agreement that some things are treasure. The creature cannot, for example, make bread appear to starving people, although it can make luxurious feasts  appear before corpulent nobles. The demon summons carriages and horses with this power.
Weakness: May not harm teetotalers, which he, and his minions, call “Rechabities” 
Vis: 5 pawns, skull (may be sordida)
Appearance: As story.

Saltatores Mortuorum – Dancing Skeletons

Infernal Might 5 (Corpus)
Characteristics: Int –2, Per –2, Pre 0, Com –2, Str 0, Sta +3, Dex +2, Qik +1
Size: –2 Skeletons have a low Size score compared to living humans because they lack the mass provided by organs and fluids. 
Personality Traits: Enjoys causing shock +3
Combat: Shortsword*: Init +2, Attack +9, Defense +6, Damage +5
* Change to other weapons for cosmetic effect.
Soak: +2 if dressed in finery, Add a +10 Soak bonus if struck with piercing weapons.
Wound Penalties: –1 (1–3), –3 (4–6), –5 (7–9), Incapacitated (10–12), Dead (13+)
Abilities: Carouse 6 (parody), Single weapon 4 (shortsword)
Equipment: Fine clothes, improvised weapons, inexplicably present shortswords.
Powers: 
Coagulation, 0 points, Init 0, Corpus: Takes the form of a skeleton, with accoutrements suited to the mortal behaviour it mocks.
Obsession: 1-3 points, Init -5, Mentem: May force characters to make Personality Trait rolls to resist a temporary trait, Thanatophobia, which has a score equal to the Might points spent.. If the roll is successful, the trait vanishes. If it fails, they gain the trait permanently at +1, although they can remove it by the usual means of reducing traits.
Weakness: Cannot harm those who have succeeded in a Brave check against 6+. Storyguides may raise this factor if the characters are surrounded by a group.
Vis: 1 Corpus (sordida).
Appearance: Skeletons with burning blue eye sockets, that follow the commands of their master.